This I Believe (too)

I believe in making bread.

I love the texture and taste of homemade bread. I love the smell of a well-cooked crust. I love knowing which ingredients I and my family are eating ... no mystery chemicals this time.

I especially love the excitement of my daughter when it is time to take the bread out and she has waited patiently (or not so) to get to taste the first piece. She does a little jig, then a giggle, and her hands involuntarily plunge out in the "give me" stance. I ask her what she wants on it. "Honey bear, honey bear" is invariably the reply. We watch the butter melt then add the honey from the bear-shaped bottle. It melts too.

She eats.

I wait.

Finally, after mouthfuls of crust and innards have been disposed, I hear the critique, "it's 'ummy, mommy, 'ank you."

My husband comes home and the bread is no longer hot. Only faint hints of the fresh bread aroma remain. I serve him dinner. I include some bread. The scene nearly repeats itself. "This bread is so good, honey. It turned out great again, you rock." He thanks me five more times before our heads occupy our pillows.

Baking bread definitely makes sense in a cost/benefit world. It costs me a little bit of time and a few ingredients but the benefits go beyond healthier eating or more economical feeding. The biggest benefit is the love.

Bread making is all about love.

I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago and she had just taught a bread making class for Enrichment*. Most of the women who signed up to attend were younger mothers. As my mother prepared and prayed about this assignment she was convinced that her real purpose was to teach these women that bread making is all about love. You can buy good bread (especially in Utah where there are bread stores everywhere), that isn't necessarily the point. The point is that in baking bread you show others you care for them.

I had a friend from graduate school who made bread. He once said to me, "I'll never use a bread machine because how else can I knead the love into my bread?" He knew that bread making is about love.

As I was thinking about this concept, I thought about how often Christ is referred to as the "Bread of Life" in the scriptures. We are told to partake from the Bread frequently and generously. Each week we partake of the Sacramental bread in remembrance of Him.I think there is no coincidence that He chose to compare Himself to bread. Bread sustains and comforts. Bread fills and satisfies. Bread is love. Think about it, is there any other kind of food that even makes sense when you try to use it as an analogy for Christ? I've tried to earnestly think of a few and they just sound lame. Spinach is very fortifying but that definitely doesn't work. Chocolate is comforting but still falls short. Hot oatmeal warms and fills but ... nah.

I believe in bread making. It is one of the ways I show love. In eating it with excitement, delight, and enthusiasm, my family returns that love.



*Enrichment is short for Home, Family, and Personal Enrichment. At least once a month women from congregations of the LDS church get together to learn and share and do in ways that are enriching to themselves, their families, and others. It is fairly informal and usually is held in someone's home. For more information go here.

This I Believe*

I believe in imperfection. I believe that sometimes doing something poorly is better than not doing it at all. I even believe that sometimes doing something "well enough" is actually better than doing it perfectly. For instance, I could spend hours and hours cleaning my house to perfection and miss out on spending time with my daughter. Or, I could clean my house "well enough" and then go for a walk and watch my two year old discover butterflies and birdies and blossoms.

I believe that I can wait to take a family vacation until I can afford the perfect vacation or I can take a day here and a day there to build memories and connections with the ones closest to me. Life has a way of passing us by if we wait for perfect moments.

A friend of mine has a poster in her kitchen, it says something like this, "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can do it well." I believe in that too. When I was in elementary school I quit taking piano lessons because I just wasn't very good at it. How I wish that I had been willing to do it "well enough" until I got better. How many things did I quit or never start because I was unwilling to accept imperfection? Now I play the piano and it doesn't really matter that I hit the wrong notes fairly often. These days I'm okay with imperfection.

Perfection is still a goal for a few areas of my life. I strive to be a perfect disciple of Christ. I want to perfectly follow His teachings. I would like to be perfect in my relationships, especially with my family. I fail, of course, but I'm learning to not give up the things that matter most just because I'm not perfect at them. And the things that matter less? I'm learning to do them imperfectly and to be perfectly happy with that.


*There is a series of essays produced for public radio entitled "This I Believe." Basically, essayists (from all walks of life, all ages, all political and religious persuasions, and all races) submit writings about a core belief and how that informs their life. I'm not ready to submit this for radio but I thought I'd share it with you.

Heidi, I try to do'd it

Just now I was in my bathroom curling my hair (cuz it is like 2:30 and it just seemed like time to do that). Eden had just gotten up from her nap and was in the other room. Then I heard this:

"Heidi, Heidi, Heidi!"

I hollered so that she would know where to find me. In she walked and said,

"Heidi, potty. Heidi, I try to do'd it."

And so she sat on the potty. She watched the poo poo go away and said, "bye-bye poo."

An exciting day!

The fine print is this: she had already poo'd in her diaper and I just emptied the contents into the toilet after she sat on the pot for a minute. She did flush it and wave goodbye to the poo. As I was putting a new diaper on her she said, "I do'd it again, more." I think we are just that much closer to the real experience.

I'm not sure why she called me "Heidi" she does that once in a while...

25 Things

It has been a while since I have done a tag. Corrie shared 25 random things about herself on her blog and invited others to follow in her footsteps. How could I refuse (especially since she kindly mentioned me in hers). So, while I don't promise to be as witty as Corrie, here are 25 random things about me.

1. Right now I am eating leftover chicken cacciatore. I made the recipe up one day by just dumping things that sounded good into my crockpot. After I was done, I realized I'd come up with cacciatore. I often cook this way. It is much more a function of my laziness than it is my creativity. Well, maybe a little creativity...

2. I once killed a mouse in a bag with a hammer. You'll have to ask me if you want the details. (It was a mercy killing though.)

3. When I was young I wanted a daughter named Tiffany. I never considered the name "Eden" until I was about 6 months pregnant with my little Eden.

4. My husband once dated a girl who ended up marrying (someone else) and having a daughter whom she named Eden. (hi, Sarah) Ok, that isn't really about me, but an intersting fact, don't you think?

5. I LOVE to make snowflakes. You know, the paper/scissors kind? Above my computer desk I currently have approximately 35 snowflakes I've made (well, I forced Phil to make two of them). Snowflakes have six points guys. Just in case you didn't know. Yeah, my snowflakes are anatomically correct.

6. When I was growing up (well, getting older anyway) I loved that my mom crocheted us slippers every Christmas. I never learned how until I was in college. My cousin taught me how to do it (my mom taught her). Phil hates crocheted slippers.

7. I like red.

8. I love efficiency.

9. I have six brothers who are all high-achievers. Mark - MBA from Harvard; Michael - Master of Teaching (I don't know what the real title is) and a Vice Principal; Andrew - MBA from Duke; Paul - MBA from Duke; Jon - in Dental school (after getting an MS in biological engineering); Josh - attending USU, speaking Russian, and avoiding marriage.

10. I once wrote in my scriptures: "interesting idiom for a prophet to use prior the the birth of Christ." Yeah, that was in my intellectually snobby graduate school years.

11. I love going to youth dances. I'm the coolest, nerdiest chaperone ever! Oh yeah, I boogie (and I even get Phil to boogie with me sometimes).

12. One time a guy told me the best quality I had going for me was that I was "sly."

13. My parents are two of my biggest confidants, advisors, cheerleaders, and heros.

14. As far as I know, I still hold the record at West Gresham Grade School for hanging on the crossbar (chin above the bar) for the longest time. I think it was 2 1/2 minutes or something.

15. I love sweets and waffles and ice cream and cookies and bread and this cacciatore is gone and I'm having hankerings...

16. I had a crush on Little Joe (not Michael Landon though) from Bonanza.

17. I have three incredible sisters who are raising some amazing kids. I love that all of my sisters and SILs are awesome moms and that the men in their lives support them as stay-at-home moms. My sisters are some of my best friends.

18. I like to sing. I pretty much sing all day long. Phil didn't know this about me until after we were engaged. I was always very threatened by his skilz and so I wouldn't sing much around him. He asked me (after we were married) if I had ever thought about doing choir when I was in high school. I was like, "yeah! I was in ALL the choirs in high school! Show choir, madrigals, jazz choir, concert choir, symphony choir. I wasn't just some girl who was in a few choirs. I WAS the choir-girl."

19. I blog when I'm avoiding cleaning. Yeah, that is what I'm doing now. What I'm NOT doing is cleaning my bathrooms, cleaning the windows, and vacuuming.

20. I once came home from an elementary track meet with a 3rd place ribbon. My mother was so proud. Before I could sleep that night, I had to confess that there were only three kids in the race. I'm not much of an athlete.

21. I did play basketball for three years in Jr. High. The coach played me fairly often. I never made a point in a game. I'm not sure why she played me as often as she did.

22. At my Jr. High graduation, I was awarded some award that was something about being the outstanding physical education student of the class. Same coach. What was her deal? Did she really think I just lacked encouragement?

23. In my first job interview (to be a receptionist of a medium-sized corporation), the HR director asked me if I had any experience. My reply, "well, when the phone rings at home, I'm always the first one to answer it!" I was 18. I got the job. The HR director was not my former BB coach, I promise.

24. I love to laugh and I love hugs. Laughing with my husband and daughter is only second to hugs from my husband and daughter.

25. I am one blessed girl!

Thoughts on the Inauguration

"Peaceful transfer of power"

Those are pretty amazing words. What an amazing and inspiring event. Think about it. From the earliest governments the transfer of power has most often been anything but peaceful. I cite just a few:

Saul and David
Bloody Mary and Elizabeth
The Entire book of Ether
Most 3rd World Countries

I truly love that as heated and partisan as the politics get in this country, we do have peaceful transfer of power every 4 or 8 years.

It makes me proud.

I was less than proud to hear the booing of people when Bush and Cheney arrived at the inauguration. Come on people, they are still our leaders and they are headed out. Class it up guys.

I don't remember any other inauguration that received so much attention. We had a day of doctors and other things that kept us out and about and yet everywhere I went there was a television with inauguration coverage showing. People were talking about it. I felt a general sense of excitement and hope.

I'm glad that most people (regardless of politics) are hoping for good things from this new administration. Many are praying for Obama's success.

I love this country!

Famly Ome Eening ... Yeah!!!!

Two weeks ago we were on an airplane on Monday. Eden had an ear infection and screamed the whole flight. Not exactly the kind of Family Home Evening that makes for good memories. One week ago was a chemo day and I got to drive home through a yucky storm. Not a great Family Home Evening there either.

The last real Family Home Evening we had was at my parents' house on December 22. We celebrated the birthday of Joseph Smith* and it was a nice time with a few of my siblings and parents.

So, it has been a while since we've had a Kesler Family Home Evening. Our Family Home Evenings are pretty basic. They usually follow this format:

Opening Song - usually played by Heidi on the right hand, Phil on the left hand, and Eden playing descant. Sung by all.

Opening Prayer

Flag Salute - Eden holds the flag and we stand and recite the pledge. Eden LOVES being responsible for such an important task.

Kesler Kudos - we recognize good things in each other and acts of accomplishment and kindness. It is a great time to clap and cheer and Eden is beginning to really get into it.

Activity Song - a silly song time to get the wiggles out.

Lesson - we LOVE the new nursery manual. We were having a hard time knowing how to create lessons for Eden before it came out, now we use it and have a 2-3 minute lesson and she usually makes it through it and even grasps some of it. We have taped the visual aids from these lessons in our family room at her eye-level as a reminder of what she has learned about prayer and Heavenly Father and family and Jesus, etc.

Closing Prayer

Activity/Game - Hide and Seek has been a popular one lately.

Treats - a family favorite, of course. (Look for tonight's delicious treat on this week's Food Friday.)

Well, since it has been a while since we've had a Kesler FHE, we weren't sure how Eden would do. Then at dinner tonight I was saying the prayer and said something about "Family Home Evening" toward the end of the prayer. Eden waited for my "amen" and then said (with both hands flying triumphantly into the air): "Famly Ome Eening, Yeah!!!! Flag!" It was so cute!

She was so, so, so excited to hold the flag and then proudly put her right hand over her belly button (the heart isn't too far from there) while we recited the pledge.

For our activity, Phil had printed out squares of colors and then folded up the papers. His idea was to have Eden pick out a piece of paper, open it up, and then find a book with that color on it. Eden could totally see through the paper though and said, "I want lellow" then picked the yellow paper and found a book that was yellow. After that he had to hold the bowl of paper slips above her head so she had to pick "blind." It was a fun game and she LOVED it (and I loved putting all the books away just now).

What a fun, fun Family Home Evening. We are so glad that we have been given the advice from modern prophets to set aside one evening a week to spend with the family in gospel learning and fun.

Famly Ome Eening ... YEAH!!!!!


*Since before I was born, my parents have had a celebration of the birth of Joseph Smith on or around December 23 (his birthday). It is such a fun, meaningful tradition. We so appreciate his life and the sacrifices that he made in order to bring about The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ as well as the restoration of the gospel as taught by Christ. I love that his birthday is so near Christmas because it just seems fitting to take an hour out of the Christmas season to celebrate the life of a man who loves the Savior so deeply.

Christmas Eve - Beck Style

On Christmas Eve day we did some sledding in my parents' front yard, then the grandkids put on a Nativity Pageant, followed by a nice lunch. Here are some fun pictures.

Eden LOVES snow!

Eden preparing for the Nativity

Binh - the cutest Wise Guy ever!

Caleb, Grandma, Binh, Paul, and Meg

Eden, Phil, Sam, Caleb, Grandma, and Binh

Punka, Mike, Lydia, Josh, Todd, Emily, Natalie, Heather, and Binh
(Binh was pretty proud of himself for getting in all the pictures)

Both tables

She has needs, ya know...

While we were in Utah Eden became very vocal about her needs. She would say,
"I need mom."
or
"I need outside."
or
"I need cracker (or cookie, or cooker - which obviously is a cracker-cookie)"

but two of my favorites were these:

While driving from Alpine (south of SLC) to Cache Valley (north of SLC) there was a bad accident and the interstate was shut down. We had to travel on a slower highway (with everyone else) and so the trip that usually takes two hours took four. Eden was frustrated, tired, and eventually just mad. It was snowing and we were creeping along at about five miles an hour. I could only show her the cattle truck we kept passing so many times before she had just had it. Finally about a half hour from grandma's house she began to cry huge, fat, wet tears. In the middle of her sobs she repeated,
"I need grandma, I need grandma."
It was so sweet and sad.

A few days later at grandma's house (actually I think it was at aunt Heather's) we had just finished a big meal. Everyone was sitting around talking. There was a plate of my mother's hand dipped chocolates on the table. Eden walked up to the group of women sitting around talking and proclaimed,
"I need chocolate!"

It was classic.

Merry Christmas

We are enjoying
LOTS of SNOW and
LOTS of FAMILY and
LOTS of LOVE and
LOTS of PRESENTS (especially Eden - I think her toy inventory just doubled).

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hope that we and you can find a little time today to reflect on the Son of God who condescended to become the Babe of Bethlehem. Without Him we would be lost - in every sense.

Food Friday

Ok, this isn't a recipe, it is a wonderful tip instead. In Utah, there is a restaurant (popular for their catering and wedding luncheons) named "The Lion House." They have some of the best recipes and are especially famous for their rolls and breads. Well, if you do a google search with "Lion House Recipe" you will find a treasure trove of great stuff. So, while the Food Friday Czar is on holiday, get your recipe fix from The Lion House, you won't regret it.

And what did I do on Friday (instead of Food Friday)?

Well, I dipped all kinds of yummy chocolates with my mom, aunt Deani, brother Josh, and sister Heather. Such a fun family tradition! Then I went to the Ogden Voice Male concert. It was good. The audience gave them two standing ovations. Fun times.

Now it is snowing ... yippee!!!

These are a Few of Her Favorite Things...

Eden loves books. She likes to carry them around and read them and look at them and sometimes draw in them (she's usually pretty good to choose her drawing books wisely).


A few of her favorite books to cart around these days are her For the Strength of Youth, Personal Progress, and PP Journal* (yeah, her mom is a YW President). She especially likes to show people the pictures of the temple on each of them. She even built a temple (or "temper" as she calls it) with her megablocks this week.

Eden remains fiercely devoted to her love of all things kitty. This picture captures another new favorite thing. She LOVES all the Christmas lights up right now. She calls them "happy" and will point to all the "happy trees" along our main street in town (no, it isn't called Main Street it is just the main street). We are excited to combine the previous happy thing (SL Temple) with the lights when we head out there later this month. She will love the lights on temple square**!

Elmo is still a love. She isn't obsessed like she once was but she still loves him. She sings his theme song (you know, la la la la) with an extra syllable (alla alla) it is pretty funny.
Like her father, Eden loves graham crackers!

And finally, Corrie. She also loves hats and has a couple that I made her that she likes to wear around. But this is not about the hat Corrie won and is modeling on her blog, this is about how much Eden loves Corrie. She says, "Corrie, happy." Yup, she is.



*For the Strength of Youth - a booklet put out by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to help youth understand and live the standards of Christ.

Personal Progress - a program for young women (12-18) in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It helps YW learn about their Savior and also teaches them to set goals and acquire skills. There is an accompanying journal to help them record the things they learn.

**The area around the Salt Lake temple is called "temple square." At Christmas time the square is lit beautifully. There are awesome nativities throughout the square and of course the large statue of Christ in the north visitor's center. It is a beautiful, happy place.

For more information about these and other programs you can visit mormon.org.