Sunday, October 28, 2007

"You did that in public?"

I assume we all have things which we do in the privacy of our own homes but which we would be way too embarrassed to do in public. Am I right?

Well, lately I've found myself doing these things in public. Yes, it is true, I've been singing to Eden in public! Last week I found myself in Walmart (sorry Layne) with a little girl too tired and upset to continue shopping and yet I just needed to get a few things for Power Port Phil's nausea.

What is a mom to do in such a situation? Does she:
A) Forget about her husband's needs and take the crying baby home without procuring the goods?
B) Subject all the other Walmart customers to her baby's cries (some might say that is the due punishment for being a customer of the Great and Abominable Store)?
C) Begin to sing Skinamarink (from the Elephant Show, her favorite song of late) in a most animated fashion, keeping both baby and customers amused.

The correct answer is, of course, C! So just imagine this: Heidi is walking through the GAS (great abominable store) pushing her buggy with Eden in it and with a lilt in her voice and a skip to her step is singing "Skinamarink-a-dink-a-dink Skinamarink-a-do" and then still with the lilt and a skip says to the produce manager "where are your parsnips?" and without missing a beat (or a lilt or skip) back to Eden, "I love you!" This is no exaggeration.

Today the scene went like this, Miss Eden has wet through all but one layer (which means through the diaper, through the onsie, through the tights with the ruffled bum, and through her blouse - leaving her corduroy jumper the only dry clothing she had). I am in the changing room and she is not happy with having to strip down. Again, what is a mom to do?

A) Subject the rest of the branch to her loud screams of torture?
B) Leave her in wet clothing until we get home two hours later?
C) Distract her by singing the "Bum Bum" song lovingly composed by her Daddy?

Again, the correct answer is C. So there I am with a mostly-naked child who is not very happy about being mostly-naked and I break into the sophisticated melody and lyrics of "bum, bum, change your bum, bum - chicky, chicky - bum, bum, change your bum. (That Phil, is it any wonder that he is a major recording artist?) At this point my friend, Alisha, walks in and wants to know what on earth is going on. I'm sure her son Trey will soon be serenaded during his own diaper changes with the Bum Bum song. Actually it is quite versatile. During the desitin stage it can be "bum, bum, soothe your bum, bum..." and during baths it is "bum, bum, clean your bum, bum" etc.

And so you see, any dignity I once pretended to have no longer exists. I am a mom.

2 response(s):

Jodi said...

You and Phil should record a CD and title it just that "You did that in public?" I would totally buy it!

Alisha said...

You are too cute!!! We love the BUM BUM song and you can bet we will use it the next time Trey is wailing on the changing table! Isn't funny the things you will do to keep your child happy???